Life Changes and Maintaining Steady Practice towards Transformation

Up until about four months ago, my daily efforts practicing the advanced series truly gave me the tools needed to quiet my wandering mind and soothe the dark waters of my soul. This ultra nourishing and potent series was the perfect recipe that changed my life: it taught me how to give and receive love, how to breathe and move to my fullest potential, and how to be more compassionate in this mighty world.

Now, being almost four months pregnant, I am without this sharp tool of discrimination; I am being tested in a new way to access those divine places inside me while maintaining the integrity of the practice. I have intensified my supplemental practices instead of practicing deep asana. These are the ones that used to be on the outside - the practices that used to support my asana practice have now become more important than ever.

Breathing, chanting the sutras and singing devotional prayers and mantras has become my daily practice. Add a small bit of asana to this (no more than forty five minutes) and there is clearly a new path of travel towards my inner temple. It isn't as easy as it used to be when a mentor like Viranchasana took me there every day.

Dena's teachings are quite luminous right now:

"Let It Go

Let It Out

Let It All Unravel

Set it Free

And it may be

A path

On which to travel"

Chanting to Shiva removes all of our illusions. Shiva has been removing the illusions about my self, about the baby and the mother I will be, and about my own suffering. Surrendering to the divine source of wisdom and love, isvara pranidhanani - is truly the greatest practice we can cultivate. And this directly brings all previous and current transformational practices into clarity. 

When life brings about challenges, absorption with ourselves is going to be more difficult and we often resist the practices we know that mend our hearts. If the suffering around you or within you has taken over your ability to focus on accessing the inner temple of your being, then it is necessary to look at the suffering as a preliminary practice before any yoga study can begin. Start by knocking on the door of your own haunted house.

To fully access transformation of the self one MUST take a detailed look at their own suffering. Then once it is on the table, there must be a plan to remove it or fight against it through the effort of specific yogic practices. One must look deeply at why we suffer, and this in my mind, is one of the pivotal preliminary practices to achieving yoga. 

The Yoga Sutras 2.12-2.25 go into depth about our suffering and Patanjali did not put these sutras into the second book on Sadhana, or "Practice" for just any reason. He places suffering and witnessing our own frustrations and karma as an initial step before one can even begin to work on the eight limbs. He offers us many practices on how to calm the dark waters of our citta vritti, but we have to do some work before we can actually begin.

One way for transformation to happen is IF all forms of suffering are removed and limited. When we find stillness in our asana and meditative practices, it isn't necessarily clean and tidy. Sitting with adverse thoughts of ourselves IS one of the most important tools that yogis need to be meditating upon. Suffering is to be avoided, but it can only be avoided if we actually look into its source and find out where it is coming from and contact the source, become intimate with the source in order to make the changes needed.

Being pregnant has taught me that asana and holding on to a practice such as advanced is not really practical right now. I let the practice go right when I found out I was pregnant. My body is different than others, so I am definitely still practicing, but it is a gentle combination of a few of the asanas from primary, intermediate and advanced.

Am I receiving the same information as I did when I was practicing advanced? No, it is definitely different. But though my daily practice has changed, I am still sharpening my tools (this is the hard part) so that I can move through my own personal battleground and achieve yoga.

Life's challenges will come - and our frustrations with the world (and ourselves) are buried inside of us. With this realisation, we must be ready to take on supplemental practices that still take us to the same place where we can combat the frustrations that some times never go away. Don't just rely on asana to take you there; it will, but be observant of how much you rely on it. Remember, this is just one limb.

For transformation to happen in your life, perhaps you are dumbfounded as to where to start. Try the yamas, look deeply into the first limb of yoga. And if you are truly looking in the right places inside you, you'll know this is the best place to begin as the yamas reveal the kleshas that hold us back from achieving yoga. 

I'm off to go chant to Shiva and sit in padmasana. This my friends and readers, is the best gardening that I can do for myself, and for my growing and blessed family around me and inside me.

I feel blessed I have had such incredible mentors to help me understand some of the wisdom that yoga offers: Christine Hoar, David Garrigues, Dena Kingsberg, Randa Chehab and my dear friend, Gretchen Arguedas. It is with great respect that I share that if I hadn't been taught additional practices and spent great amounts of time with these individuals, I wouldn't have the ability to share such thoughts revealed in this blog post - or the tools needed for the greatest practice that lies ahead of me - motherhood.

Yoga Sutras for Everyone

I find that when I clean my bathroom on Thursdays, I turn into a fembot. Ok, so I am exaggerating, but my mind wanders just to one place, that of resentment and anger. Thanks to the tools I have learned from ashtanga yoga, I have been able to curtail these thoughts of destruction and ire and channel them towards enlightenment. My sweet trick, you may ask?

The Yoga Sutras of Patanjali. Yep, I listen and chant the YS of Patanjali while I clean, while I cook, while I do wee chores around my home so that I am in a state of meditation and concentration. A few hours go by and I am surprised how shiny my bathroom looks and amazed that I didn't turn into a demon.

Adding spiritual study to your yoga practice - Svadyaya - is a key component - in fact it is the backbone that supports niyama - the second limb of ashtanga yoga. Having svadyaya in your practice arsenal will allow you to access a greater part of yourself that may be hidden or covered up. 

One translation of svadyaya means studying sacred texts. Which sacred texts should you be reading as a keen yogi? Two for sure: the Bhadgavad Gita and the Yoga Sutras of Patanjali. They specifically bring our lessons from practice and show us how to bring them into our day. This is especially important when we are having an adult meltdown.

One great way to begin studying the yoga sutras is to find a teacher who you like. Do some research online and search for an online teacher. I recommend learning from the Mohan family and with Nitya Mohan at the Yoga Sutras Online website. This gives you the opportunity to listen to detailed philosophical insight on the Yoga Sutras of Patanjali and learn how to properly chant the sutras.

I recommend just like an asana practice, only chanting as far as you can remember. So when you begin, you don't learn the first twenty. You learn the first two. You get those two down to memory, then you add one more. Just like an asana practice, you don't go do the entire primary and see how it goes. You learn it one asana at a time so that you fully learn the postures before adding another one on.

Another way to study the sutras is to get a practical book that you like. Edwin Bryan't book, "The Yoga Sutras of Patanjali' is as in-depth of a book as you can get and for the beginning student, it may be a bit much. Mind you it is perfect if you are a seasoned YS buff, because it goes into great detail of commentary from Vyasa, the wise-expert on the Yoga Sutras. Dive into this book with a bit of courage as it will give you many perspectives on the sutras. 

A practical and all levels book which is great for beginning as well as intermediate students is B.K.S. Iyengar's book, "Light on the Yoga Sutras of Patanjal". This book is a gem; it is filled with easy-to-read descriptions of the sutras, but unlike Bryan't book, does not have much commentary from Vyasa. What Iyengar's book will offer you is a simple outline of the sutras and a roadmap of them too - you can trace how and which sutras relate to each other. And this is always good if you are trying to bring the wisdom of the sutras into your daily practice.

Here are two videos of me chanting Book 1 and Book 2 of the sutras. It took me a few years to memorize these two chapters. So remember, take your time and read, study and repeat. And notice, I am a novice, still just learning! 

In the second book, you'll see I have made a mistake - and I repeat the sutra I fumbled at the end. Can you hear which one is a miss? This sutra is a landmark sutra of Book 2 and this is why I must get it right.

I always thank Timbo, my sweet husband for introducing me to sincere sutra chanting; now, it is just as important as the asana practice. 

May your chanting be filled with Joy!

Book 1 Samadhi Pada

Book 2 Sadhana Pada

The Misfits of Ashtanga

This past month I have been teaching heaps and meeting new yogis in the Aberdeen community, sharing a simple message: practice the misfit asanas, the challenging ones. Don't skip them.

If you practice every day, approach what you have been taught with genuine effort and the practice in turn will take you all the way towards understanding the last three limbs of ashtanga - dharana (concentration), dhyana (meditation), and samadhi (absorption). 

Patanjali calls these last three limbs of ashtanga, a complete form of integration, Samyama. 

The last three limbs come when there is no more wondering or questioning what we are doing in the asana. It is required that we have already done all our work and research and we are able to invite a quiet depth to seep into our practice.

If you are not practicing every day or very often, the misfit asanas will urge you to quit and fidget and fumble instead of experiencing samyama. 

One of the ring leader misfits in the primary series - Janu Sirsasana C - is the posture that most people who are learning ashtanga simply skip. Others are a trifecta of difficult lotus-based asanas - Marichyasana B, D and Garbha Pindasana. These also get specifically left out because they are not easy, nor do they feel good for the first few years of practice.

Work on the difficult asanas that you may want to  overlook. If we are incapable of disciplining ourselves to attempt the challenging asanas, then there is no way that we will understand samyama. 

Without daily effort, how can we expect to advance or be more comfortable in the asanas that are alarming, if we don't go play with them every day?

Daily practice is the backbone of ashtanga yoga. Place practice as a priority over theory and study. You can do all the research you want - watch youtube and videos of pros all over, take workshops and go see famous yogis talk and demonstrate. But if you don't get on your mat and try, by yourself in your kitchen or in the Mysore room - samyama will definitely not happen.

I urge practitioners - whichever asana you are working on - first and foremost, try it every day. Why not spend a little bit more time working on what you are NOT good at and master that challenging misfit asana that is giving you grief? It may be giving you the right lesson you are needing to learn.

Here is my misfit asana - Sayanasa. Don't be fooled, I am not quite there, here I am falling out of it. Maybe in a few more years it will be easier. Well it took four years for that other misfit asana, Janu Sirsasana C to feel good, why would this one be any easier?

Patanjali outlines a perfect remedy for us on 'how-to' attain the riches of yoga. The crux of this method is practice: practice done for a long time, without a break, and with effort. If we can practice the feel-good asanas along WITH the misfit asanas with effort and with devotion, then one day we will understand all of the limbs of ashtanga yoga, including samyama. 

Thank you Aberdeen, for inviting me to teach at the The Yoga Spot, Love Yoga, and at Mo Yoga. A huge thank you to Michele, Rebecca and Mo for inviting me into the community and giving me the opportunity to share my love for ashtanga. And may samyama seep into your practices, dear Aberdeen yogis! And to the yogis beyond Scotland, too!


*Teaching Update:

5 October Chanting and Philosophy class Yoga Spot - 10:30 am

Week-long Mysore intensive at Love Yoga October 14-18

Ashtanga Yoga Edinburgh week intensive October 21-25.

Unraveling in Aberdeen

We moved this past week from Edinburgh to Aberdeen. This stressful time of clean-the-house, pack-the-car, say-goodbye-to-friends, and then move-to-a-new-city is one that requires some recovery time.

Thank you, Ashtanga Yoga Edinburgh!

I begin this new chapter in Aberdeen with rest. Rest is reading books ("The Autograph Man" and "Wolf Hall"), practicing, chanting, making ghee, taking walks, cooking, journaling, and writing letters to friends.

Long walks along my new favorite river, the Don, involve navigating pathways and trails that somehow just end! Though I am often lost, it is familiar to live right among the trees. In less than five minutes I am right at the river's side taking in the smells of the river: sharp detritus of rotting logs, bright green freshwater moss, piles of leaves, and abandoned forts that animals have built left like abandoned Scottish castles.

Intertwined foliage creeps everywhere, all around me, right inside me. It is lush, it is organic, it is juicy. Nature inspires me to practice, so I bring the memories of the natural world in. Can I feel this enamored while in Poorna Matsyendrasana? I shall try.

I have also been cooking as much food as possible with the guidance of Yotam Ottolenghi. Yotam transforms vegetables with heat and fire into a metamorphosis of joy. He may blind side you by asking you to garnish your masterpiece with a voluptuous egg. Deliciously daring!

Yogic practice has been a very relaxed affair; home practices have been sprinkled with peace. There haven’t been any early morning cycling/walking escapades through dark streets to get to practice. Practicing in your living room is sometimes the best place to approach any difficult asana.

Now, after morning coffee I stroll to the runway and the riches of this practice we love come right out. All it takes is a clean room without clutter and a lot of effort. Practice doesn’t need to be a gruel of sweat left drying on your mat like a heap of exhaustion, either. Use the right amount of effort in order to make it successful and joyful. 

Along the River Don, there are many kinds of geese and ducks flying about tending to what needs to be tended to before flying south in the coming cooling months. The cold wind in the air is nature’s warning; these birds know it, and they are hurrying about in their preparations.  

I too am gearing up to teach and join the yoga community in Aberdeen, though I may not be as busy as these birds! I am offering a few workshops in the coming weeks and in the meantime, I shall continue to admire the birds’ efforts and learn from the most glorious guide, nature.

******

Teaching schedule in Aberdeen/Edinburgh:

14-15 September, Love Yoga - weekend workshop, book Love Yoga

30-September -7 Oct, The Yoga Spot - week of Mysore intensive. Book The Yoga Spot.

21-25 October Ashtanga Yoga Edinburgh - week of Mysore intensive, book AYE.

Please Practice Padmasana

I was told earlier in the year by one of my teachers to sit in Padmasana as many times as I could throughout the day. I have been doing exactly this - three or four times a day - five minutes to twenty minutes or so every time. 

Jewellea Photography

Sitting still in any position with a ready mind will lead you towards yogic bliss. But padmasana brought me right up close to the five yogic afflictions, also called 'kleshas', or hindrances to yogic practice. These can be painful, impure or colored thoughts - said plainly, these are anything that hold you back in yoga. I have been focusing on the first one, avidya - spiritual ignorance. 

Stillness in Padmasana develops insight into ourselves - notice how it was just sitting still that brought this on - it wasn't while grabbing my heels in urdhva dhanurasana or an advanced posture in the third series - though having a calm mind in these asanas will also lead you towards understanding your avidya.

While you are practicing, try to find stillness at each and every posture (not fidgeting, not looking around, being steady, being calm). This allows you to witness your thoughts so that you can look into what you are day dreaming about. The mind is often comfortable with covering up such thoughts so it goes into auto-pilot and thinks "I am not that", or "I don't think that way" and cleverly replaces the difficult or uncomfortable sensations with something easy to handle instead.

Choosing to remain oblivious to what is holding you back from attaining peace in your life is also avidya. Being 'spiritually ignorant' suggests that you are aware of what is harmful in your life but still you do nothing to change it.

Studying the yoga sutras will inform you that avidya breeds all of the other kleshas, and if we can get straight to the source of our spiritual ignorance - then we will be able to curb the growth of other kleshas. The five kleshas are avidya (spiritual ignorance), asmita (ego), raga (attachment), dvesha (aversion) and abhinivesah (clinging to life or attachment, even fear of death). Click here for a detail on the kleshas.

In our daily practice, there are asanas that befuddle us on a regular basis. Returning back to these places that are uncomfortable is where we are able to learn most about ourselves. For me, Sayanasana is always a battle. I fall some days and others I balance like I am teetering on a dime. I am always taught humility in each of my three successful breaths.

Some days your effort will be rewarded and the results are positive, other days no amount of effort will fulfill what is required to access the inner linings of your mind. The journey of a committed, daily self practice gives you the tools needed to accept this.

Work on those hip openers and healthy knee practices so that you can learn how to fold your legs into lotus - if this is too much for you, then try sitting on top of a block or blankets in sukhasana. Anything to offer space and length in your hips so that when you cross your legs with your heels lining up with your pelvic floor - your knees drop to the floor - this will allow lotus to happen eventually. 

For the auspicious padmasana is worth all your effort towards understanding your own avidya.

Swinging in the Trees

Ashtanga Yoga Edinburgh has the most incredible windows that look out into a glorious park, The Meadows. This morning while in my practice, I came up from Prasarita Padotonosana A, and when I looked straight ahead, my view was of giant healthy trees. I became so attached in the beauty of these trees for a moment, I became heavy and earthy, just like them. It was clear I was envious of their ability to be so voluptuous and I wanted to be one. [This may happen Patanjali says when we attach ourselves to what we meditate upon - see what happens if we do not stay attached by clicking here - Yoga Sutra 3.38.)

They each had huge bases that appeared to make the surrounding environment around them - including me gazing at them - so small. Their barky bodies - hardy and furry with protection - reminded me that to go upwards and grow, there must be a strong downward force - imagine the roots on those babies!

With all the "supta up!" such as lifting and swinging and jumping back and forward in the ashtanga yoga practice, it is important to remember to go down into the earth as well - especially while practicing the standing asanas. 

For the arm balances of the Advanced Series as well as throughout the primary and intermediate - there is a huge emphasis on the ability to lift up off of the ground. Once you have figured out how to go up, it is just as important to figure out how to land and how to go back down. Often I feel myself going upwards and not enough downwards or even outwards - the opposite of the action I am working so hard to do. When this happens there is no ease and a lot of effort: I feel myself over working, trying too hard and well, just practicing without any results.

An old friend once told me, "If you are going to be stupid, you better be tough." 

The pairing of opposites is latent within a yoga practice and must be present in one's daily efforts - in order to join the physical practice with the mental one. Patanjali uses the word "dvandvah" (Sutra 11.48) which is translated as "duality" to describe these opposites. 

There are three yoga sutras about asana - and this is the last of the three suggesting that when the yogi has perfected asana (effortless effort and benevolent steadiness) then he or she is "undisturbed by dualities". Iyengar, "Light on the Yoga Sutras of Patanjali". The "dualities" can be anything like hot or cold; joy or sorrow; pain or pleasure...they can also be upwards and downwards, forwards and backwards, and directional - think of the inner vayus that fill the inner body like wind in all directions.

An image like a billowing tree in a picturesque Meadow helped me realize that for every arm balance that needs a ton of effort to move upwards to hold, there needs to be a downward force like no other to vacuum (pull up) the energy being pushed down.

We can take this metaphor all the way though and use it to train our minds. Really the same effort we use to hold on to something that we attach ourselves to is required in order to let it go. For each effort in one direction, the same or more is required to get yourself out of it.

Catch yourself using too much intellectual energy on this one? Try admiring a beautiful tree, see how earthy you feel in it's presence; then, see if you can use it's medicine and wisdom to help you lift up into Eka Pada Bakasana A or Galavasana in the Advanced Series. If this works for you like it does for me - then I think you have understood what Patanjali is talking about. On a physical level, of course. 

Smiles and Blessings...happy practices to you.

Jewellea Photography

Svadhyaya

Keeping a practice journal (or even a blog) may reveal all your secrets that are hidden in the yoga practice. Once I let the ink take over, they pour out onto the paper. This type of exposure allows you to accept what has happened and where you are now - and this is a great taste of what the yamas and niyamas are all about. 

Writing and sharing your practice: reading your own voice of the practice is like watching yourself do a self practice. There is a sense of ownership and wonderment about what you are practicing. What is often revealed is how the medicine of yoga is actually working. Sometimes information comes out in letters to friends and teachers, too.

Janu Sirsasana A-C, for example. When I first started to write about my practice, I had a sweet crush on these asanas. Some days we would fight as my toes were crunching...other days I would feel a truce as the A-C exposure led my hips towards greater sensibility. 

Once you start writing about what you are actually feeling on the mat, you can notice how you are handling your emotions when you are practicing yoga. Are they always in check? Are you a bomb waiting to go off because you are repressing something that wants to come out? Or are you one who melts down during your practice? Are you totally flat, moving methodically through the yoga asanas with nothing, nothing happening on the inside?

We all know that each Series has a dragon that lives in each one, maybe more than one, even. We have plenty of meditative  tools to face these 'dragons'. Breath, bandha, dristhi, vinyasa, dharana...but more than the practice tools we have devotion and passion to practice.  

You are forced to do something with these emotions. This anger, meltdown, obsession (whatever it may be) then becomes a guide which leads you towards compassion. These terrible asanas then become more like loved rivals as you dig deeper and deeper towards understanding them - and understanding yourself. This passion for understanding (Union!) is what cracks us open, and exposes us.

These demons also challenge our egos, our sense of "I"-ness and our entire beings of whom we think we are. It is no wonder that some days while practicing karandavasana I often wink after all my hard three tries, "Till next time, sweet wee duck, thank you for kicking my !$*(#!"

Sometimes in baddha konasana I enter this posture as if I were going into a cave, into a place of worship. During this posture one dives into the hips and into the pelvis, and if we are sensing each and every breath, we become softer and kinder to those around us - sharing the forgiveness and tenderness we found within ourselves with others.

Then in the advanced series (A), there are all sorts of recluse demons hanging out around every bend in the road: Virancha, Durva...Kukku...Bhaka...so many monsters in this one to make you fearless, to soften and harden you, to burn out any kleshas. For good. And I often meet them at the door with my best team. 

If we aren't experiencing an emotional exposure from our practices (I mean any practice - no matter whether they be a daily practice of Sun Salutations only, or a long vigorous advanced practice), then I believe we are missing the point of yoga. Work out the problems you have with those enemies and iron them out. For the asanas that you are having problems with, some serious therapy (research and study) may be the medicine. 

If you are a flatliner, or are experiencing a lull in your practice, try giving your practice a wee break from asana (tone it down, do less) and add in some study and philosophy to your daily asana? 

Sutra 2.1 offers svadhyaya - self and spiritual study - as a full yogic practice in itself. Patanjali also includes svadhyaya in the niyamas - the second limb of ashtanga yoga. Since svadhyaya is a part of the niyamas, this suggests it is worth our effort to include them into our study of yoga. And on a daily basis. So if we are cleaning our bodies and minds on the mat through asana, then why not clear out what is left upstairs through writing and self reflection then, too? 

Philosophy of Yoga and chanting the YS of Patanjali - Fridays and Sundays at AYE - join me!


From Rumi:

The Guest House

This being human is a guest house
Every morning a new arrival.
A joy, depression, a meanness
some momentary awareness comes
as an unexpected visitor!

Welcome them and entertain them all!
Even if they're a crowd of sorrows 
who violently sweep your house
empty of it's furniture
still, treat each guest honorably.
He may be clearing you out for some new delight.

The dark thought, the shame, the malice
meet them at the door laughing,
and invite them in.

Be grateful for whoever comes, 
because each has been sent 
as a guide from beyond.